Retrospect
by SBello
Summary: Hinata was more than happy with her life, she was content. She loved Sasuke and being his wife, but sometimes, she couldn't help but wonder what would of been behind door number one.


Disclaimer:: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: Playlist Who Knew by P!nk

High Five by Big and Rich

Are You Feeling Me? By Toby Keith

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Sliding down, Hinata rested her back against the familiar wood of a training post. This particular post had seen all of her blood, sweat, and tears through the years, it had seen her grow from a shy girl to a strong woman, a capable jounin. Wiping only sweat on her pants, the days of beating her hands till they bled was long gone.

With cool breeze caressing and cooling her overheated body Hinata found herself relaxing. Closing her eyes she reflected a bit on life, on who else had been there with her since the beginning, Shino, Kiba, and Kurenai. Those three had been a saving grace and without them she severely doubted she would be this far. Smiling, her mind lingered on Kiba, the best friend anyone could ask for. Hinata shook her head, that silly boy understood her in ways no one else could.

Sometimes, in the quite moments like this, when Hinata was truly alone and no one in the village could see her, could ofs and the what ifs floated around her,.. It wasn't a grand secret that she and Kiba had harbored crushes on one another at some point, but they never managed to be attracted to each other at the right time, at the same time. Kiba had wanted her when she was engulfed in 'white knight' Naruto. Then the moment came she realized perhaps these feelings for Kiba were not platonic as she thought, he was seeing Ino, as short lived as that relationship had been, it gave her the time to squash the idea.

That insane game of tag left them closer than imaginable. Think about loving someone like a sibling, but having that deep undercurrents of wanting them like a lover, it was the closeness that was hard to find, the bonds that were untouchable by the world.

It didn't matter if she was married and he was serving their village far out of her reaches. It didn't matter her was in a serious relationship with a woman he'd met through Hana. It didn't matter that they could talk in letters, as sparse as they were. What mattered was the fact they loved each other and in another life time they could have been lovers.

There were things inside Hinata's mind that she would take to her grave, the fact she'd almost asked Kiba to have her first kiss, the fantasies that sometimes popped up over the years of him sweeping her of her feet, of wild barefoot babies, babies with her pale skin and his shiny brown hair. The little ache in her heart that says it could have been her supporting him while he was gone making a living for the two of them.

Inside her heart she never felt guilt for those thoughts, it was her right to imagine. Kiba had been there for her through everything. When she'd awoken in the hospital after that infamous fight with Neji, his big brown eyes was the first she saw. The afternoon her and Naruto had broken up he'd been her crying shoulder, he'd been her support system when reality came crashing down that Naruto was not the man of her dreams. He was amazing, he was fantastic, but he wasn't giving her his attention all and she could never bring herself to ask for more. It wasn't an error on anyone's part, they just didn't work, so much so, _she _had been the one to break up with _him. _

Kiba had supported her when she decided to see someone who was out of her comfort zone, out of her father's list of acceptable men. Hinata didn't know what force had attracted her to Uchiha Sasuke or him to her, but it was such powerful force, he brought out the loudness in her with his attitude problem, Sasuke could make her scream and shriek in frustration. While she was someone he could complain to, be human with They balanced each others negative traits out and even allowed each other to be more alive, at least within the confines of each other; where Hinata could be angry and Sasuke could cry.

Hinata opened her eyes and studied the tattoo on her left ring finger, a simple red and black fan, but the meaning was huge, she was an Uchiha. Kiba had been the one to do the ink work, it'd been her idea. Kiba had joked and asked if Sasuke was too cheap to buy a ring. Hinata had giggled and shook her head, explaining the logic, a ring would get in the way in battle or it would risk being broken, especially since her hands were her greatest weapons.

Kiba had grinned and ruffled her hair, calling her a smart girl. Shortly after he'd laid his tattooist tools out he looked at her, his rich brown eyes growing serious and he stared at her, "Hinata, please don't get married, I love you." He had looked in her eyes and then grinned, "Just kidding." They both had laughed and he began to sanitize her finger. As she walked home, towards the Uchiha district, she looked at the bandage on her finger she wondered if he'd been kidding or not.

Even now three years later she still pondered from time to time if he'd meant it. She wondered if the way he introduced her as his sister, the way he called her 'sis', wasn't just his own way of reminding himself she was forbidden. He didn't even refer to Hana as 'sis' anymore. Things like that made Hinata curious, caused her to question just how deeply he felt for her.

It wasn't selfish on her part to wonder, but it would be to ask. It would be so cruel to break this unspoken agreement between them. To bring up the elephant in the room, it _couldn't _change anything to ask, but things _would never _be the same. Hinata loved Kiba and he loved her just as much, this love was untouchable and that's why it will always linger between the two of them, out of the greedy hands of lust.

Taking in a deep breath Hinata forced herself to stop thinking about Kiba and stand up, it was time to head home, Sasuke would be arriving back from Water Country tonight and she still needed to shower and make dinner. Chewing her lip as she stood Hinata decided to walk through the market place and pick up fresh ingredients, her husband probably hadn't eaten a decent meal the whole time he was gone.

Hinata was more than happy with her life, she was content. She loved Sasuke and being his wife, but sometimes, she couldn't help but wonder what would of been behind door number one.

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A/N: I know some of you people out there know exactly how this feels. I commend you for keeping your thoughts unspoken, but maybe reading this can ease your mind knowing you're not the only one.


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